Bum Reviews: Spring Awakening
by Movie-Brat
Summary: A fan written Bum Review on Spring Awakening. Enjoy. Go ahead and send your reviews if you want.


**Disclaimer: Chester A. Bum belongs to Doug Walker of That Guy With The Glasses. I just like using his character.**

**Note: I forgot to write this actually as this is, or actually was supposed to be a birthday gift to my friend Casa; but might as well call it a late gift. For the record, I'm aware Spring Awakening isn't a movie, at least not yet, but the point is he'll still refer it to as a movie regardless. Why? Because he's himself. You know, he can't help be Chester A. Bum but whatever; I should stop talking right now.**

_And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum._

**Tonight's Review:**

**Spring Awakening**

"OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" Shouted Chester A. Bum as he flailed his arms like an excited 10 year old on sugar high.

"There's this girl named Wendla," he began to explain the plot. "and she asks where babies come from."

Chester then proudly thumb pointed to himself. "I asked my mom where babies come from." Before getting depressed for a moment. "She died that day."

"She then sang a song about it!" he said. "And her mother tells her that it's love."

"LOVE!" He cried out before giving out a suspicious glare. "I knew something was up with the stork!"

He went back to explaining the plot. "And then there's this boy named Moritz. And he reminds me of Double D!"

"He's shy, and what else is he like?" He then asked.

"And then there's other guy named Melchior and he likes to use dildos!" Chester said before chuckling a bit. "Nah, I'm just kidding. He's actually the ancestor of Fonzie from Happy Days."

"And Moritz sings about this dream he had." He explained before he proudly thumb pointed to himself again. "It was about naked women! I dream about naked women! I actually slept in one of their closets, it was so great!"

"And Moritz is like," he then started to imitate Double D. "Oh my God! I had a sex dream!"

"And Melchior is like," He said before imitating Fonzie. "Eeey! It's no problem! I do it too!"

"But Moritz asks Melchior to write an essay with naked pictures on it." He then said before he flailed his arms again and cried out, "HOORAY!"

"And then there's this guy named Hanschen and he likes to masturbate to sexy postcards."

"I like to masturbate to sexy postcards." Bum proudly pointed to himself before taking out a postcard of Misato Katsuragi in a bikini as he smiled. "This is my dream girl."

"And then there's guy named Georg and he has fantasies about his piano teacher."

"Is that even right?" The bum asked himself. "I mean the name, Georg? Shouldn't it be George? Or maybe there's a fat joke involved.

"But anyway, Melchior gives Moritz the essay and he's like." He then imitated both Double D and Fonzie back and forth.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"What do you mean? I gave you the essay."

"But I have more fantasies now!"

"Then why an essay?"

"SCREW YOU!" He pretended to run off crying.

"And then suddenly, Wendla and Melchior actually meet." He explained. "They fell in love! HOORAY! But they decide not to have sex. Damn!"

"So then Moritz passed his exam." He said before he had a disappointed look on his face. "Only the school decides not to pass him."

"Schools," Chester scoffed. "They're all the same!"

"And then there's other girl named Martha," He said before he had a grim look on his face. "She's abused by her father. I should know, she said so."

"But she doesn't want anyone to know, she doesn't want to end up like…" He shivered at the thought of Martha's childhood friend.

"But anyway," He went back to being excited and hyper. "There are more fights. Melchior's father hates everyone, more drama. But not like Twilight, trust me."

"And Moritz wants to go to America, only to find out that he can't."

"And finally," he explained before he became extremely hyperactive. "Melchior and Wendla have SEX! It is about freaking time! We need more underage people having sex!"

"Wow that sounds really wrong." Chester admitted rather quickly.

"And then suddenly," He said before he gasped and became over dramatic. "OH MY GOD! He killed himself! That suicidal bastard him, **OH MY GOD**!"

"Erm, the rest of the review will be honor of Moritz." He said before going to back to the plot. "And everyone is at his funeral. And Melchior tells off Moritz's father!"

"He's like," He said before imitated Melchior. "Live long and piss off!"

"Oh wait, that was Spock." He realized.

"So then the school finds about the essay about naked women." He explained. "And they think he killed him."

Wah-Wah music suddenly came out of nowhere as Chester shrugged in a "Oh, well" manner.

"And then Hanschen meets this guy named Ernst." He explained. "And they're gay! Just like Rod and Nicky."

"And suddenly, Wendla is pregnant!" He said before he said thoughtfully to himself. "Wow, this is starting to sound like Knocked Up."

"And she realizes her mom lied to her!" He said. He then wondered out loud, "So, it really was sex?"

"They have a fight and she's like," He said before he imitated Wendla in a high pitched voice. "Piss off!"

"Then there's more fighting, Melchior in a new school…" He said before he said to himself. "Wow, this thing is long."

"And the parents want to send Melchior away." He said bluntly. "Come to think of it, these people are crazy!"

"And then Melchior has a masturbation game! He somehow finds out that Wendla is pregnant and he goes after her!"

"Go Fonzie! Go Fonzie, Go!" He rooted and sang for Melchior. "Go Fonzie! Go Fonzi, GO!

"He gets to her in time," He said before he had a grieving look on his face. "But she died."

"He actually wanted to kill himself but," He said before he yelled out. "But then their ghosts tell him not do it!"

"OH MY GOD!" He cried out. "They're ghosts! I knew it all this time!"

"They tell him," He said before he imitated both the ghosts. "'Don't do it! It's not worth it!"

"And Melchior is like," He said before he imitated Fonzie. "Okay."

"And everyone sings led by the dead childhood friend and live happily ever after." He said in a cheerful tone. "It was so good I saw it twice."

"This is Chester A. Bum saying," He then thrust a Styrofoam cup and waved it around. "Change! You got change? Aw, come on! Help a guy out, will ya? Come on, change!"

**Seriously Though, Spring Awakening is pretty good. Happy Birthday, Casa!**

"Well, can I at least see that essay? I want to know what's in it!"

**Notes:**

**That's a Bum Review on Spring Awakening. Hope you enjoyed it. Nothing else to say so, bye.**


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